“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

– George Bernard Shaw

My girlfriend and I have a great relationship. We get along very well and love each other very much. But there is always one thing that gets in the way of our great relationship, communication. We talk about it all the time when we have arguments or disagreements. We tend to assume the other knows exactly what we want and expect them to give it to us, but end up doing something totally opposite or ignoring the fact that we want it. This can be a very bad recipe for a relationship that you want to last a lifetime.

So I started reading communication books and seeing a coach to help with my communication. I then teach those principles to my girlfriend so that we can build a better foundation of communication.

Here are some of the basic fundamentals that I have learned of communication: Trust, Cooperation and Listening.

Trust has to be earned, it is never given. In order for you to earn trust, you have to show someone that you truly care about them and you do things in their best interest, not your own.

Cooperation means that the two people communicating are on the same page. Talking about the same thing is important in order to communicate effectively. The pair communicating should be able to take turns voicing their opinions and not just one person talking the ear off another. Even when disagreeing with the other person, effective communicators do not put the other person down, but agrees to disagree on the topic so not to hurt the other persons feelings. We have to value the friendship or connection more than being “right”.

And lastly, Listening, very big key in effective communication. Nowadays with phones and TV and so many other things going on in the world, peoples attention spans have gotten tremendously small. I even have a hard time going more than half an hour without looking at my phone. I notice that when I am talking with my clients or family and friends, there are always distraction happening. Phones going off, smart watch letting me know I have a notification, or just anything moving around us. Having a conversation or getting someone’s attention can be very difficult, but thats why when having these conversations, try to very detailed with as little words as possible, and make the story/point/conversation as interesting as you can. We are competing for IG posts with half naked men/women or fancy cars or the latest viral videos, so we have to keep our conversations very interesting in order for there to be effective communication.

If you need help with effective communication, or feel that you want to sharpen your communication skills, book an appointment with me or see a coach that can help you sharpen those skills.

Thank you and remember to always Control the Basics